The heart loves

I loved and love him so much,

the years didn't take the shine,

even not the divorce, it didn't destroy the love,

which is still burning in my heart,

and I miss him every night and day,

as we were not divorced at all,

I didn't understand my own situation,

that delusional worldview,

which was tightly around me,

and in the darkness there were no shines,

only it was like the closed ring.

Now the ring is opened again,

I see all what has happened,

I agree that the fantasies are the illusions,

and the world was full of the nonsense,

because near me was the dearer one,

my own dear which I dismissed,

and I am sorry of my acts,

and understand how sick I was,

how possessed my mind was,

my heart was full of the imagination,

and I was a prisoner of my illusions,

in the darkness I lived.

I wish to understand,

I hope it is not too late,

I feel sorry I hurt someone's feelings,

and I ask him to forgive,

that I could even hug once,

and I could love him with my whole heart,

as I had loved him before and for a long time,

and our paths will come together again,

and the divorce will not be a barrier,

and we could build our life,

again and at the new stage,

where will be the forgiveness and the sorry.

We have given only this one life,

and I would walk with you to the end,

if you will let me do it,

and forgive me my mistakes?

The sentences which I wrote to my ex-husband in the last summer, before I came back to our home to live with my ex-husband.

I do my mistakes with the writings too!